That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
