No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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