he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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