Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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