so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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