I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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