i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
