But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
