Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
