At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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