Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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