Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
