So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
