you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
