My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
