This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
