Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
