:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
