why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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