5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
