It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize