Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
There's even glitter on my cock...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
