You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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