I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
