I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
