You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
