im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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