How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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