You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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