Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
