Your tits are I can't wait for
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
