Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
