No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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