The maid of honor just puked.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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