it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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