My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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