Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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