it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
