she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
