4 words: hood of his car
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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