All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
