I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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