so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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