Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Will you blow on my dice?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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