OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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