trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
