she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
