if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
