Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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