Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
