32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
