people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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