Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
