I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
