she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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