So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
