oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
